Understanding the Stages of Change: Why You Keep Falling Off the Wagon

Laura Williams
Jul 10
2 min read

How many times have you promised yourself you'll eat better, move more, or finally get to bed on time—only to find yourself slipping back into old habits a few weeks (or even days) later?

You're not lazy. You're not lacking willpower. You're human, and you're probably stuck in the Stages of Change.

What are the Stages of Change?

The Stages of Change model, developed by psychologists Prochaska and DiClemente, explains how we move through different phases when trying to change behaviour. It’s especially helpful when looking at long-term lifestyle changes around health, weight, energy, or habits.

There are six key stages:

Precontemplation – not yet thinking about making a change
Contemplation – thinking about it, but feeling unsure or ambivalent
Preparation – getting ready to take action
Action – making real changes in daily life
Maintenance – continuing those changes and working to sustain them
Relapse – slipping back into old patterns

Many people believe change is a straight line: make a decision, stick to it, succeed. But in reality, change is more like a cycle. Most of us will move through these stages more than once. Relapse isn’t a failure. It’s a natural part of the process.

Why Do We Fall Off the Wagon?

There are lots of reasons we might slip back into old habits. Here are a few common ones:

Trying to skip stages You go from thinking about change straight to action, without building the foundations. For example, starting a strict meal plan without preparing your environment, mindset or routines.
Not giving attention to maintenance Once the novelty wears off and you're doing well, it’s easy to assume you're done. But maintaining a new habit often needs just as much support as starting it.
Getting stuck in all-or-nothing thinking One takeaway, missed workout or stressful week can trigger thoughts like “I’ve ruined it now, so I might as well give up.” This mindset often fuels the relapse cycle.

How to Work With the Stages, Not Against Them

Expect ups and downs Relapse is common. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it just means something needs adjusting.
Match your approach to your stage If you’re in the Contemplation stage, a strict plan probably isn’t what you need. You might need reflection, not action. If you're in Maintenance, you may need new strategies to keep things interesting or manage setbacks.
Ask better questions Instead of asking “Why can’t I stick to it?”, try “Where am I in the stages of change, and what does this stage require?”
Aim for progress, not perfection Long-term change isn’t about doing everything right. It’s about learning what works for you and building habits that are flexible and forgiving.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve found yourself stuck in the same loop—start, stop, restart—you’re not alone. Most of us cycle through the Stages of Change more than once. Each time gives us a chance to understand ourselves better.

With the right support, and a bit of patience, change becomes more than a short-term push. It becomes something you can grow into and sustain.

🟡 Want help figuring out where you are in the change process? Book a free pre-coaching consultation to explore how I can support you, whether you're just thinking about change or already on the way.